Vera Xia Jingyi 夏靖宜
Photography
La Petite Mort / 小小的死亡
Days of Judgement / 审判日
The Nocturnal / 夜行动物
Untitled Movies / 无题电影
In the Mood for Love / 花样年华
La Petite Mort
la petite mort 2022-2025
35mm film, Gelatin Silver Prints
In early spring 2022, I went back to the village where my father grew up to attend my grandmother’s funeral. I hid behind my camera’s viewfinder to avoid getting too emotional over someone, as closely related to me as my father’s mother, whom I hardly knew. Still, I cried twice. The first time was when I looked into the eye of a cow which was about to be killed as part of the funeral’s sacrifice; the second time was when I led the funeral procession, holding my grandmother's portrait, and fine snow started falling onto the rice field, which she used to work on to feed my father and the other children. I felt as if it were part of a script, and we were in a movie.
The term "la petite mort," which translates to "small death" in French, refers to a brief loss or weakening of consciousness. In modern usage, it describes the post-orgasm sensation likened to death. Georges Bataille interprets it as a "violent breakthrough" into the finiteness of life, representing a microscopic rehearsal of the disintegration and rebirth of consciousness.
“La Petite Mort" is my visual journey of inquiry. It captures the solemnity and absurdity of the funeral scene, the prayers amid the incense in the temples, the youthful bodies entwined in passion at underground clubs, and dead fish on the riverbank. I chose to work with 35mm black-and-white film with a point-and-shoot camera, as I document moments that linger on the edge of life --- those "small deaths" of collapse, ecstasy, disappearance, and rebirth.